A Bullet Point List

This weekend has been filled with such ups and downs I can't even focus and figure things out.... So here is my bullet point list.... I'm an engineer.  We like lists.

• The Girls listen.  They don't listen.  I repeat myself 8 times..  I am yelling again..... Who is that yelling? When did I start to sound like that?  Oh good god I sound like my Mom......  Sorry Mom!
• How do you deal with the constant struggle of being the Mom when you don't really have the title.  My favorite is when I get "I want to go live with my Mom" yelled at me..... I guess it is much like being in a divorced situation...... Somedays Girls I would like to pack your little bags and send you to boarding school but I don't because I love you and deep down even though you drive me nuts I know I would miss you little buggers.  Nate would not know how to function.  He thinks the sun rises and sets on his Ari and his ZiZi.
• How do you deal with an 8 year old who is jealous that a baby has more toys and has blocks and she doesn't? 
• How do you deal with a 7 year old who screams in pleasure because a BOY called her on the telephone?
• How do you deal with the same 7 year old who is so grown up sometimes and then she is sucking her thumb?  I am going to record myself saying "Arianna Thumb."
• Oh yeah the same 7 year old who drove a snow mobile around the yard today like she had done it her whole life.
• How do you get anything done in a house with a one year old that every time you turn around he has crawled somewhere he shouldn't be?  His favorites are in the dog food and where there is any sort of hint of a cord showing.....
• How do you deal with the children 5 min ago you were about to pack off to boarding school who just came in with huge apologies for what they had done wrong?
• How do you deal with getting a note from your 1 year olds daycare that it would be nice if he had Valentine's to pass out to his friends on V-day? Last I saw the only thing he did with Valentine's is try to eat them.
• Tomorrow is a new day.  Tommorow is a new day.  Oh god tomorrow is Valentine's day.  Ugh... At least I will be working at home and don't have to deal with the commercialism of it...... While I eat the chocolate covered strawberries my husband got me....;)
• Thursday is Nate's bday and apparently I am supposed to send something in for his class.  What do you mean the whole making cupcakes and sending them to class starts at 1?  I thought I had til he is at least 5!
• Why is it February and football is over yet baseball has not begun?
• Pitchers and Catchers report tomorrow.
• Do you know how fun it is trying to spend all day catching up on work because I missed two days with the stomach bug from hell that literally had me seeing stars and yearning for the days when the only time I puked at least I was drunk and I didn't remember it?
• Did I mention I had a 7 year old, 8 year old and 1 year old visiting me in my office all day as I tried to catch up..... 4 hours of work actually took me 8 hours.....

Well.... I need to wrap this up..... Nate's Winnie the Pooh Valentines won't write themselves and I have to pack the snacks I bought for the Valentine Parties at school.... Don't worry I did not bake!  I take the easy road and send gold fish and animal crackers..... Oh great they have been in bed 5 minutes and they are already calling me.  I think I will change my name to Guadelupe and not tell them.

Happy Valentine's Day to all!  (Or as I called it in my single days Black Monday!)

A Good Day

I have to say since the Girls moved in with Tom and I there have been good days and bad days.... Jasmine has ADHD and learning difficulties so we spent the first 6 months getting her to doctors, with a diagnosis and on the right medications so she could actually sit down and learn and behave.  Arianna is angry to say the least.  Who can blame her with everything she has been through?  Did I mention I was pregnant the first 9 months they lived with me with severe heartburn and no sleep... and then I had a newborn and no sleep! 

So in the beginning I think we had a lot of bad days..... Days when I didn't think I could do it anymore.  Days when I would just put my head down and cry.  What kept me going besides my love for them and their two cute shining personalities that I knew were there was thoughts of my Aunt and Uncle.... I spent a lot of time growing up with Maryann and Kevin.  Maryann was the cool aunt that I always loved to hang out with.  As I got older she became my best friend.  I spent a lot of time with them so it was a gift I could give the Girls.  Stories of their parents......I could give them the life their parents wanted them to have.

Anyway.... I digress.... Back to today.... Today was a good day.  I have to say we have been having more and more of those lately..... The new house is part of that.  We finally have room to spread out and aren't all crammed on top of one another..... But it still amazes me how sometimes you just have a good day out of no where.... They had the day off because of snow.... and we just never seemed to get them all to daycare.... They helped with Nathaniel, they cleaned the play room, we went to Walmart, we went and bought ice skates.... Ordinary things that all add up to just a smile and not tears.....We all kissed good night and said I love you and there were no tears or yelling..... Just promise of another good day tomorrow.  Of course I never know with the two of them.   I just know that somehow they are growing and changing and something has clicked where things are just working.......  I look at old pictures of them now and I think... wow they are really growing up and turning into young ladies...

As a full time working mom I have to admit I have a lot of days I feel guilty... Days I can't make school parties or performances because of meetings or commitments.... Last week though Arianna had to draw picture of her hero for her Martin Luther King Performance.  I couldn't make it because of work.  She drew a picture of Tom and I and said that we are her heros..... I hold that in my head when she is rolling her eyes at me..... Brings tears to my eyes.... I know they appreciate Tom and I but there is nothing like a hand drawn picture of it....

Sorry this is a bit all over the place...... I blame it on the wine..... ;)  Then I can blame my friend Sarah who bought all of the wine with me..... and my friend Christie who also has two Girls the same age.... who gave me the most sage advice ever "The children are stronger willed than us.... that is why we have alcohol." ;)

Why am I here?

I was recently inspired when I read my friend Kathy's blog about her son Tai.  I thought what a wonderful way to save all of the crazy day to day stories that happen when you have kids.  They will probably enjoy them when they get older.  My friend E also asked me if I was saving all of my facebook posts about the kids.  I thought they would find them funny some day.... I thought I would find them funny some day too.....;)

So you are probably wondering how I became an Instant Mom.... I will give you the Cliff's notes version of he story.... I always loved Cliff Notes when I was in high school especially when it got me out of reading the long boring book I didn't want to read and then I had time for the ones I did want to read... But I ramble... I find I lose my train of thought a lot since I had kids.....

• In April of 2007 I became "Mom" to my crazy dog Rusty.  She is a 70 lb Brindle lab and fully considers herself the first and only child.
• In June of 2008, Tom and I got married and began our life together.  We had the house all the kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang out at.  We always had freezepops and IBC rootbeer.  A lot of times would order pizza for them.
• In August of 2008, my aunt Maryann, Mom of my cousins Arianna and Jasmine and one of my best friends had an accident where she hit her head, had brain surgery and began a very slow recovery that goes on still today.
• On June 20, 2009 Arianna and Jasmine came to live with Tom and I for the summer.  They were 6 and 7.  They came for summer camp.  I spent my first anniversary in the emergency room with Jasmine.
• On July 7, 2009 two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

Since then we never looked back.  The Girls have come to live with us now and they were not going anywhere once they knew a baby was on the way.  Nathaniel Thomas was born in Feb of 2010.  His two "Big Sisters" are his favorites as I am constantly reminded.... He has a laugh especially for them.

There have been many adventures over the last year and a half when you are instantly a parent and you have no idea what your doing.  Most people get 9 months to warm up to the idea and read all the books.... They get to go through the baby age, the toddler years.  We have had many challenges, many include the school nurse who is not my friend.  Through it all Tom and I have rolled with the punches and somehow kept our sense of humor.... at least we are still laughing even when we are on the verge of tears.... We are lucky to have a huge support network of friends with kids and our families who jump in when we need them.

I am hoping by "blogging" about them it gives me some perspective, a way out of the craziness.... and maybe a few laughs along the way...... And so the adventure begins.....